Flirting with disaster
Posted on | May 4, 2010 | Comments Off
Flirting with disaster
She looked, but couldn’t touch
She wanted to, a desire was there
She wanted to fall in deep, and satisfying
She looked, but she couldn’t touch
He asked if she did, and she said “she was good”
She fell quickly to sleep and dreams took over
She was flying a helicopter but didn’t know where to land
People on the ground gave her directions but she didn’t know where to go
She was now on a train
A poster of A Mohamed Ali fight was there with her name on it…
She was definitely a fighter
She watched as the boxes of chicken and other passengers were leaving her train and taking other tunnels…
She wanted to know where they were going
She awoke at the same time as every morning
How did she feel now, what had she done? What had she not done?
The pill sat in its container next to the bed
She looked at it, but she couldn’t get herself to take it last night
Now she would pay.
The Dog (pt 8)
Posted on | May 3, 2010 | Comments Off
She went to the grocery store with a smile on her face. This was not a common occurrence and under normal circumstances, would cause some kind of alarm bells to go off in some part of the cosmos. She headed straight to the meat section of the store and bought a big juicy steak for Doone. He’d be happy she thought. She made her trip up and down the aisles of the store smiling at other customers and even helping an elderly woman reach a can of mandarin oranges that was placed on the highest shelf. She was feeling good about herself today. She had on a new hat and she looked good. She had been complimented by a handsome dog. She was borderline insane.
She arrived home to find Doone sitting by the door anxious to go out. He went out as she was bringing groceries in and then came back in on the final trip. He sniffed around the bags and seemed rather enthusiastic. She pulled out the steak and smiled.
“This is for you” she said.
“Nice…”
“I thought you deserved something special. Is there a particular side dish you like?” she inquired as she continued to put the groceries away.
“I’m kind of partial to french fries.”
“Then french fries it is. How do you like your steak?”
“Rare” he said and with that he sauntered off for a pre-dinner nap.
She wondered what this lump of a dog could possibly need with another nap. It’s not like they went out for a long walk today or anything with the rain. One would think he’d want to work up his appetite. So very male to want to just lay around.
Truth be told, Doone was laying down, but watching her every move. . .
“Classic Queen”
Posted on | May 3, 2010 | Comments Off
She needed something with lyrics to keep her mind occupied today and so she chose Classic Queen, 
She loved the movie Highlander
[click the above links to hear clips from the songs or to read more about the movie]
“An Unquiet Mind” By Kay Redfield Jamison
Posted on | May 3, 2010 | Comments Off
Of all the books I’ve read on bipolar disorder (formerly known as manic depression), the most poignant and truly moving has to be that by Kay Redfield Jamison called An Unquiet Mind. What makes this book unique is that the author herself is a Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and has experienced this disorder first hand.
An Unquiet Mind is “A Memoir of Her Moods and Madness” as she puts it. She takes you through her education into the field of the very subject she is suffering from, and the struggles through the treatment of a disorder that is so very difficult to treat.
If you or anyone you know suffers from Bipolar disorder, I highly recommend reading this book. It gives a little more realistic view of the disorder than television portrays and shows that one can lead a very productive life.
[For more reviews click the link above]
The Dog (pt 7)
Posted on | May 3, 2010 | Comments Off
The morning came quickly and with rain. More rain. She should have known with all the heat and humidity of the last few days it was bound to happen. She got up early and let Doone out without any encouragement from him. She didn’t want him to feel as if it was a burden. She grabbed a towel and wiped him down and then headed to the kitchen to make another nice breakfast of eggs. She’d heard they were good for a dog’s coat. Had to keep her doggie looking good she thought.
“Was breakfast OK Doone?” she asked?
“Yes, thank you”
“Is there anything else you need?
“I’d love a belly rub” he said with a wicked smile.
She decided that touching her unusual companion was just something she’d have to get used to and she decided it was playtime. She grabbed a couple of his toys and began with a good belly rub and ended with a nice game of tug of war which of course she lost having been pulled across the floor by this very strong dog. They had fun and laughs and felt as if they’d been together for years. . .
She asked Doone what was bothering him and he told her that he didn’t like it when she was upset and he could sense something was really eating away at her inside. She admitted something was indeed getting to her, but she couldn’t really put a finger on what it was. Something was just gnawing away at her making her cranky (OK, crankier than usual) and anxious and restless. Doone’s job was to help put her at ease about herself and he was frustrated that he couldn’t help her during this particular crisis.
“You know you really are beautiful” he said.
“What?” she replied, quite shocked to hear these words in her head coming from a dog.
“You are, and you need to believe it.”
“Thank you Doone, but I’ve spent a lot of years thinking I’m anything but that” she said with a sigh.
Doone put his head back down on his paws and stared at her thinking things to himself that only very unusual dogs think, and wondering how he was going to convince his Mistress that she was one of the most beautiful humans he’d ever seen. . .
The Dog (pt 6)
Posted on | May 2, 2010 | Comments Off
So much for good dreams. Dreaming that you have a cut on your arm and bugs coming out of it wasn’t really her idea of “good” and she awoke feeling rather spooked. Doone picked up on this and nuzzled up to her, but she just wanted to be left alone.
“I have to go out”
“Can’t you let yourself out” she groaned, but she knew his many talents didn’t include turning doorknobs.
“It’s good exercise for you to get up, let’s go for a walk.” Doone’s words were crystal clear in her still groggy mind which was just so odd, but what wasn’t odd about her world anymore these days?
So they went out and took a walk, she with her camera in hand, trying to capture some of the moments of spring. She felt safe walking with Doone, a fairly large rottweiler with a beautiful coat. She didn’t care much for his commentary on the women they passed by, but he was a male. There was something unusual about this dog, aside from his telepathic communication, but she just couldn’t put her finger on it.
After a long walk and a few dozen photos they arrived back at home and Doone slurped up some water and then curled up for a nap himself without “saying” a word. She wasn’t sure if she’d done something to upset him, but she figured she would just leave him be and think about something for dinner. She better make it good or he would stink the whole house up again.
She prepared the dinner and actually put a place mat down with a dinner plate for Doone. He graciously gobbled up every last bite and licked the plate clean. Then he lay back down, head on paws and just stared, not saying a word. She was now quite concerned and hoped she hadn’t done anything to upset him. She walked over and gave him a pet on the head even though she originally wasn’t going to “pet” a talking dog and then went up to her room to read. Doone stayed downstairs. . .
“Await Your Reply” By Dan Chaon
Posted on | May 2, 2010 | Comments Off
Await Your Reply: A Novel
I think this was absolutely one of the best books of 2009. I read it in one sitting. I love to read and this is what curling up with a good book is all about.
[click the link above to read more reviews]
“Everything Matters” by Ron Currie Jr.
Posted on | May 2, 2010 | Comments Off
Imagine while still in utero, being informed exactly when the world will end. Would your life even have any meaning? Would you struggle with this or just accept your fate? That is the dilemma for Junior Thibodeau in the book Everything Matters!
I imagined as I read this book how I would change my life. I then wondered why I couldn’t live my life as if it was ending soon, because I know from experience, it could end at any moment.
This book was a quick read and left me with many questions and things to think about. Most importantly, everything really does matter.
[click the link above to read more reviews]
Tree Envy
Posted on | May 2, 2010 | Comments Off
She understood when they had to take her tree out due to its “naughty roots” tearing up the driveway that she wouldn’t get a full size tree to replace it. But this “stick” of a tree was really just depressing. It did offer enough shade for a squirrel or other small rodent to hide in during certain times of day, so it wasn’t entirely useless, but gone were the days of having a cool car in the driveway, protected by massive branches of its predecessor. (Also gone were the bird droppings of large quantity so perhaps that was a plus.) This particular tree did have a nice mound of mulch around it so she could plant some pretty flowers should she choose to do so, but this would take effort and without the protective shade, they would have to be sturdy in the sun. She just missed the big tree that was there, the one she could see from the second story window. The one with beautiful green leaves. This tree had rich red leaves after flowering early spring which was nice, but short lived. It just kind of screamed “I’m an out of place stick” and that was that.
She looked at the base of the neighbor’s old tree and she had tree envy. Real, honest to goodness tree envy. Size did matter. His had girth. Hers did not. His had shade and green leaves and … this was so sad. It just wasn’t fair. Is this what men went through in bathrooms as they stood at the urinals?
The Dog (pt 5)
Posted on | May 2, 2010 | Comments Off
She woke up to a lick across the face and the words “I have to go out” running through her head. She tried to bury herself under the covers then realized there was a rather large furry animal burrowing under the covers with her now trying to get his nose up under her shirt.
“Hey! Off limits you!” she half yelled, half whined as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and realized the message was Doone’s request to be let out.
She sort of fell out of bed and begrudgingly walked downstairs to let Doone out to do his business. She really wished this dog could do these things for himself, or at the very least would get on her schedule. She never considered herself much of a morning person.
Doone came back inside with his big grin and went to his water bowl for a slurp. He then looked up at her standing there in her tank top and pajama bottoms and sent a mental message that almost got him shoved back out the door. She made a note to herself to have a robe handy at all times.
She decided to make them both some scrambled eggs and to this Doone seemed quite pleased. Later, he enjoyed watching her do her wii fit workout, his head on his paws watching her every move. She made another mental note: leave dog locked upstairs when doing workout. Afterward, she even took him for a walk around the neighborhood just to be a proper pet owner.
She was getting more comfortable having Doone around, but something else was still bothering her. She still had some strange anxiety that somehow seemed different than usual. She wasn’t quite sure what to do with herself for the rest of her day. Maybe she would start with a nap.
Perhaps she’d have some good dreams this time. . .
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