Management Update
Posted on | July 12, 2010 | Comments Off
Our Heroine is having another swing…practically to another planet. She is mostly resting and too cranky to say much anyway. It’s probably best that she’s not writing because she’d probably offend everyone anyway. She’ll be back as soon as her meds are straightened out or she gets a good swift kick in the head, whichever comes first.
Thank you.
-The Mgt.
Grape Nuts
Posted on | July 6, 2010 | No Comments
She had never seen a box of Grape Nuts so big before. It had always come in a tiny box because it was such a HEAVY cereal. (Cereal was stretching it, box of rocks was more like it.) This box was enormous.
Instead of the bacon, eggs, and toast or french toast and sausages or other enormous breakfasts her Mother would present her with each morning, this morning it was going to be something light (ha ha) a bowl of cereal with fruit.
So she poured a small amount of grape nuts into the bowl. She’d made the mistake of filling the bowl before and felt like she’d swallowed an anchor when she was done. Topped it with some sugar because these rocks have little sweetness and added her strawberries and blueberries.
And that began the longest breakfast of the entire trip. It takes forever to chew one spoonful of Grape Nuts. And it’s loud! You are definitely forced awake while consuming your breakfast. And then little exhausted from all the chewing.
Perhaps it’s time for a nap.
The Trip (Pt 4 Tow 4, The Turkey and Stuff)
Posted on | July 5, 2010 | Comments Off
The next morning they arranged for a tow to her Mother’s preferred repair shop. This was when they met tow truck #4 driven by Sam. Sam was interesting, covered in tattoos including a little star on his forehead that probably meant something awful like he dropped a car on someone’s head and not that he was a fan of Design Star, though he was VERY friendly and almost flamboyant in his happiness. (If you are reading this Sam, please PLEASE do not take offense by this, they thought you were super cool!)
After enjoying the show of Loon and Loonier, Sam got them to her Mother’s repair shop where the guess on the problem was confirmed and repaired within a few hours. The alternator had given out and so that and that battery had to be replaced. Hooray. At least the car was fixed.
At some point later they decided to take a drive to an Outlet Mall. What girl doesn’t like a little shopping? Of course her Mother wasn’t very good with directions but she had GPS in her phone so no problem. (This was after the near miss collision with the turkey that just felt the need to wander into the road. She was still trying to figure out what it was doing there kind of like this sentence in this particular paragraph.) When she had a clear idea of where they were going, she turned off the phone thinking large signs would indicate their arrival to their destination. But it wasn’t long before she glimpsed a sign that said the Outlet Mall was back the way she came. How could that be? They headed along further looking for a place to turn around and this time they switched drivers. Her Mother couldn’t really read signs at all and these dark orange signs with mustard writing were proving near impossible.
They finally came to where it should be and out of sheer anger and frustration and maybe a little eye crossing, she saw it. The Outlet Mall was so blended into the color of the hill it was on that you literally had to cross your eyes to see the image like one of those old magic posters. The sign had foliage around it and was the color of earth so if you didn’t squint and stare you’d miss it. She wondered how many times a day people drove past this place.
So they parked the car and walked in, and her Mother had warned her this Outlet wasn’t shaped in an easy pattern to follow. In fact, it was the strangest configuration that she wasn’t sure she could even describe, other than to say that when she looked at the map at the YOU ARE HERE mark, no matter what she did, she couldn’t figure out how to get to another point she wanted to go. So after visiting a couple stores that just happened to find themselves along her path, they gave up and headed on to other things.
The headed back to “Old Town” where they found out there would be a rodeo and running of the bulls that evening. The shopkeepers were all very excited. She on the other hand was very excited to get the hell out of town before any of these festivities began.
The weather here in California is HOT and Mother’s place only has one zone for the A/C. The down stairs stays hot still and the upstairs is melting. The ceiling fan was off one morning having not been actually turned off, so it apparently wiggled itself loose again. She didn’t feel like taking it apart though she knew she probably could fix it. She was very handy. So her dear Mother loaned her a fan given to her by a friend.
Well, calling this object a fan is almost an understatement. It stands taller than some children. It’s got two things that look like jet engines on the front. (Adjustable of course.) It oscillates. It has a light you can turn on at the bottom so you don’t stub your toe perhaps. A cool blue light shines up when it’s turned on probably alerting the mother ship. And yes, it sounds like a jet engine. But it moves the air. So if you are one that can sleep through that, it’s a beauty.
It’s been interesting…
Happy 4th of July
Posted on | July 4, 2010 | Comments Off
May everyone reading have a happy and safe 4th of July. (Except those of you spamming the sight, we hope you have a lousy day.)
-The Mgt
The Trip (Pt 3 The Tow)
Posted on | July 3, 2010 | Comments Off
Having vented at the ticketing agents about the flight over run by teenagers and still reeling from the “inspection” of her coin purse full of potentially dangerous quarters and her “suspect” pork roll, she and her “very happy to see her” Mother made their way to the garage to make the drive from the airport 115 or so miles to her Mother’s home.
She had offered to drive since her Mother had driven all the way to this airport to get her, even though there was a much closer airport, there were no straight through flights and even tickets with a connecting flight were much more expensive. She got behind the wheel and heard nothing but a clicking noise. This was not good. She checked to see if the lights had been left on, any doors open, anything that might have drained the battery but saw nothing.
So they walked back into the airport to the airport police to find out the procedure since she was pretty sure since 9-11 tow trucks couldn’t randomly come in to jump people. She was correct. The airport offered a free jump service. How nice. They’d be on the road in no time.
By the time they made it back to the car, a nice gal arrived with the jump box and the car was jumped. Hooray.
They headed out northbound on 101 towards San Francisco and all of a sudden the car just stalled. This was really not her day. She was in the number 2 lane from the left and those behind her were not exactly patient about them blocking traffic. (As if they had a choice!!!) AAA was called and that question where they ask you if you are safe was answered with a big fat and loud NO! This was not like the time her ambulance died in the middle of busy road. At least then she had lights she could turn on and her vehicle was big. This was a little Toyota sedan!
At one point AAA asked if she could get out of the vehicle and put the hood up to alert people to the fact she was broken down. Another big fat and loud NO came out. This was a busy highway.
The next thing she knew, two guys in shorts jumped out of their car and pushed them off to the side of the road. That was nice. At least they weren’t out in the middle anymore, but the shoulder wasn’t exactly as wide as the car. Then tow truck #1 arrived. He said he worked with the California Highway Patrol and was called in by the CHP officer that saw them stranded. (The same one she cursed out for not stopping to at least put himself behind them with his lights on so no one would smash into them.) These guys do nothing but tow you off the highway to safety. (In reality, they get you off the highway so you stop causing traffic jams)
Tow truck #1 then saw their AAA truck and told him where to meet them. They then bid farewell to tow truck #1 and tow truck #2 hooked them up. But when they told tow truck #2 where they needed to be towed (thank you God for 100 mile towing with AAA Premier service!!!) they had to have tow truck #3 meet them because he would be the one towing them to their destination.
So in a little while, tow truck #3 arrived, and their driver George got to meet what I’m sure he described as some kind of strange comedy team of loon and loonier. Which was which was still to be determined. This was a long, LONG drive, during rush hour traffic mind you. Oh, welcome to California after such a wonderful check in to the airport and a wonderful flight!
She would like to point out the center seat of a tow truck is not a happy place to be for a couple hours.
They had lovely conversation with George. They discussed airport security and what she had gone through with the quarters and the pork roll and how poor Mother had been put into the booth and given the full terrorist treatment. Her sweet grey haired round faced Mother then asked him if he thought she looked like a terrorist. He choked and spit and almost swerved the truck he laughed so hard.
Before long they were home and George was inside having a glass of lemonade and getting his paperwork signed. Hopefully his trip back to San Francisco was a peaceful one.
[stay tuned for part 4]
The Trip (Pt 2 The Flight)
Posted on | July 2, 2010 | Comments Off
After the ridiculous (but of course necessary) check by the TSA agent at the Security checkpoint, she had little time to make it to the gate. She made her way over to the Departures monitor only to verify her gate number was indeed the same as it was when she printed her boarding pass the night before. It was. It also was pretty much at the furthest point of the terminal from where she was standing.
She took off in a fast walk trying to balance her laptop bag which was indeed extremely heavy with all the crap she stuffed in (none of which was specially scrutinized by the security agent) on top of the rolling carry on (which did contain the suspect pork roll and coin purse of potentially dangerous quarters).
As she arrived at the gate, they were already seating passengers in her area of the plane and she walked right up only to be given a new boarding pass with a new seat assignment “as to accomodate a family” which was no problem, she would never want to split a family apart on a plane. (Little did she know, on this flight, she herself would want to split apart.)
She found her seat, found the strength to toss her bag with the potentially dangerous quarters and suspect pork roll into the overhead and settled down. She could finally relax since she seemed to be going a mile a minute since stepping foot out of the car.
It seemed to take a while for the plane to load and that was when she noticed them. All of a sudden a rather large group of at least 30 or so (maybe more!) teenagers (later to be determined as 16 year olds) invaded the plane. They were everywhere. Although they weren’t sitting next to her, they were directly in front of her and apparently just everywhere.
But that was ok. They must have a chaperone and they will behave like proper young adults. Ha! Who was she kidding.
She got out the magazine to see what the movie would be and to her disgust, it was the same movie Continental showed last summer when she flew out to visit her Mother. She didn’t like it then, she certainly wasn’t going to like it now. This was fine anyway, because the teenagers were standing in the aisles and in the seats in front of her blocking the screens.
She tried to read, but all of the teens felt the need to speak as loud as possible to drown out the sound of the airplane. She couldn’t focus on her book with all the yelling going on. And at one point, she thought to herself that one girl in particular should be asked to keep her voice down. Then she realized she was one of the chaperones. This was going to be a long flight.
She even tried putting on her ipod and curling up against the window to perhaps sleep but when her ipod was on full volume and she still heard the teenagers and the ever so intellectual conversations teens have, she was ready to run for the emergency exit.
They stood around in clumps blocking the service carts and making her mouth burn as she waited for the beverage cart to make it to her after putting hot sauce on her enchilada and taking a bite without the safety of a beverage nearby. (That was her own stupidity but she was hungry and cranky.)
At the end of the flight the teens were all told to stay seated until all the other passengers had exited the plane, the nicest thing the chaperones had done for anyone yet. Of course right in her area, one of the teens had to exert his manly defiance and stand up anyway, blocking her row’s easy removal of their overhead items until he realized what a moron he was and got back in his seat.
Upon exiting the plane and greeting her mother, she went over to the ticket counter to complain. The gentleman didn’t seem to care one bit as she ranted off in a rather manic hysteria of the experience she’d had… a movie she’d already seen on their damn plane, not that she could see it cause the teens were in the way, not being able to use the bathroom because the teens were in the way, no one controlling the teens, the teen the teens the TEENS. Both the man she was talking directly to and the man at the next counter over got a smile and she knew her mission was complete. She knew full well that nothing would be done. But making someone smile was always worth something. And then she went off to use the restroom.
The Trip (Pt 1, Airport Security)
Posted on | July 1, 2010 | Comments Off
She had gotten a bit of a late start that morning, unaware that she wasn’t as close to the airport as she thought she was. She thought she was staying “a lot closer” to the airport than her home, but apparently she was really only 15-20 minutes closer. In the scheme of things, this wasn’t a lot of time. Her Mother had taught her to always be early, and she usually was, but not on this morning.
She rushed into the terminal and arrived at the security checkpoint only to be told this was the wrong checkpoint and to head down to a different one to the left. Off she went, dragging her heavy carry on bags with her.
She arrived at the second checkpoint and showed the necessary identification. She then placed her laptop in its own bin, her shoes and jacket in another and the rest of her baggage onto the belt. She walked through the metal detector without a problem but saw that the TSA agent was having quite the puzzled face as he examined her large carry on bag.
The agent called over another and she was then asked to escort him to a table to search the bag and discuss some questionable items. She was to standby, but not touch anything while he was conducting his search. She looked at her watch and saw it was just about boarding time.
The TSA agent asked if there was anything sharp inside the bag. She of course replied no. He then motioned to a cooler and began to explain that oranges could not be brought….This is where she stopped him. She didn’t have oranges in the cooler. She had pork roll in the cooler. (For those of you who do not know what Taylor Ham aka pork roll is, it is shaped like a very plump sausage or roll (hence the name) and can be cut into thin slices and fried up for breakfast and is not sold in California, her destination. She was bringing some as a gift.) The agent seemed almost shocked and unzipped the cooler (after testing it with his little makeup remover looking swab that tests for explosive residue) and sure enough, pork roll. He said that sometimes the xray machine makes things look like other things. Apparently. He then swabbed the blue ice cooler thing just to make sure she wasn’t hiding any explosives with her pork roll.
After putting the cooler back together, he then wished to talked to her about some coins she had. Out came his swab again and she explained they were quarters for the laundry. He then asked why she didn’t just bring dollars. Anyone who knows what it’s like to do laundry in a pay machine knows the importance of quarters. Enough said. This guy was annoying and his smile was getting him no where. Just put my bag back together and let me race to the gate now please, she thought. He did explain that the quarters looked like crystals to the xray machine and that something could have been hidden within. This was a small coin purse. She could only imagine what someone must have hidden in a coin purse full of quarters to get her quarters inspected.
And here, after all of this, she was worried that the little baggy containing lichen and other nature items to hot glue to a birdhouse as a gift for Mother was going to show up looking like pot on the xray. Silly her.
Management Update
Posted on | July 1, 2010 | Comments Off
The Management would like to inform you that our heroine has taken a little trip. No, she is not locked up in the psych ward. She will, however, be telling quite the tale of her adventure when she has finally calmed down.
Thank you,
-The Mgt.
Frantic frenzy, running out of time
Posted on | June 22, 2010 | Comments Off
So she knew she had less than a week to get the house in order, yet she still found herself moving at a snail’s pace. She knew some of this problem was mental, and some of it physical. She of course would milk the physical part for all it was worth. Her physician made some adjustments to her medications to hopefully help “rev things up” a bit for her, but it could be a while before that took effect and she needed to get moving now. Oh well, she’d have to force herself to get going. One little bit at a time if that was all she could do. She would much rather spend her time curled up in bed, daydreaming, reading or something. (She’d already watched four seasons of BONES.) But, alas, this must get done, and now she was really starting to get nervous. The “I’ve got time” was replaced with more of a frantic frenzy of thoughts in her head.
She thought how it would be much easier to call upon an imaginary dog or a talking worm or to be locked in a psych ward than to have to do these chores. She thought about how avoiding everything that mattered in life was easier than actually doing it. She would love to run right now. She imagined crochet lessons with the art teacher, a trip to Cardiff, a trip to the Moon. She didn’t care. Just anywhere but here at this point.
Perhaps she was scared of more than just completing the task, but of the company itself. She’d have to be human and entertaining while they were here. No telepathic dogs could be present. That wouldn’t go over well. Certainly no talking worms. No transports to different worlds or Art teachers coming out of cabinets. She’d have to live in a completely non-fiction world. Or maybe not.
Perhaps she could take her guests on adventures as well. Maybe they too could see what she sees, could even add to the story she called life. Maybe there was hope. Maybe she should get the house clean for their arrival.
Bitter perhaps…
Posted on | June 21, 2010 | Comments Off
She might as well have been sucking on lemons all week, her attitude was bitter bitter bitter and that was an understatement. She found herself resenting just about anything worth resenting, jealous of anything being jealous over, anxious over everything, and an all encompassing anger, although not violent at this point, was enveloping her like a fluffy robe after a warm bath.
She had issues. But didn’t we all. How we handle our issues is what makes us great people. Guess she wasn’t going down in any record book for greatness. Mostly sullen and definitely in line for feeling most sorry for herself. Where the hell did people get the inspiration to fight back and not let the world win? She didn’t have the energy to stand up for more than a half an hour. She couldn’t even shop. (This was an important development, one which definitely needed to be discussed with her physician.)
She had no ability to accept and move on. No patience and to commit and finish something was damn near impossible. What frustrated her more was that she knew all the damn things wrong with her and still couldn’t do anything about it. She just wanted to curl up in a ball in her bed. Maybe one day she’d wake and the world would be different.
Hello out there
Welcome to Company Needs Misery. If you like the site, please bookmark it and come back often. You never know what crazy ramblings you will find when you return. Feel free to use the contact form to introduce yourself or give any input if you aren't into commenting on the entries themselves. Any and all feedback is welcome. Spam is not. Spam of the cyber nature is mean and Spam of the food nature is gross. Thank you for taking the time to look the place over. And please remember, this website in no way replaces therapy from a professional so please consult a physician if you are in crisis. Thanks. ~C
P.S. In order to enjoy the full progression of the writing, you may wish to start at the beginning of my ramblings.