Left me undone…
Posted on | April 22, 2010 | Comments Off
She felt the experiment had been warranted. She thought she would simply fall to sleep last night without “the scary pill” and she would have minimal negative effects today. She had been tired, but her monsters were up to their tricks and she found herself up watching the clock till the very early morning hours. When she was finally sleeping soundly, the alarm on her cell phone woke her, seemingly louder than she recalled having set it. Inadvertently, she hit the snooze and was startled several minutes later when it went off again. After properly dismissing the phone in a calm fashion not requiring any repair to the phone or surrounding drywall, she got up and showered for her appointment.
She knew right away that things were not right. A certain clarity that the medication had granted her was definitely gone, and in fact, it would appear that during the night, someone had gone through her brain and taken every thing off every shelf and tossed it around every which way. This was not before having cast a spell which allowed said items of interest (and non-interest) to float about within her head. In essence, she was coming undone, but she had an appointment to get to.
Fast forward to the appointment…concerns are shared about the sheer terror every night of taking “the scary pill” that has helped so much during the day. Of course, there’s another pill to help that. Wonderful! Add another <expletive deleted> pill to the SMTWTFS box! Soon she’d be able to get the jumbo size SMTWTFS box and be really cool. Bigger is better right?
Fast forward to some shopping…and then a visit to some old friends. Something odd involving a biker and a muppet…and then it was more errands. Why was the guy at the sewing and vacuum repair shop so odd she wondered? Or was it her? Probably, she was undone for sure. The pharmacy filled her prescription and then…there was a lasagna to be built.
Now, she realized she forgot to eat during this day of stuff flying in her head and her flying all around. She built the lasagna and cleaned the kitchen. She had no patience so she couldn’t say she patiently waited the forever it took to bake. Too dry. Never fails. Last one was too wet. Can’t win. But at least she ate.
She was frantic, thoughts weren’t coming together in the way she liked, in fact, she wasn’t sure she made any sense at all. She was, however, looking forward to the “new pill” to go with the “scary pill” and wondered if she would need yet another pill to combat some nifty new side effect from the combination of this latest combination.
It was, for the most part, a good day. A beautiful day. She proved to herself she needs to take her medicine. (sheepish grin) She got out of the house and did all the above and probably more that her spinny mind wasn’t registering at the moment. Yes, a good day. But she was definitely undone. She wondered…would she be able to get herself back together??? She thought so.
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