Feeling totally helpless…
Posted on | April 15, 2010 | Comments Off
Her chest grew heavy with anxiety and helplessness. Anger brewed as the frustration built. Her inability to do anything to help the situation was almost too much to bear. Her breathing became labored, her face flushed and her neck and shoulders became tense. She was reminded of patent leather mary janes as a little girl and how a white pair would scratch black and a black pair would scratch white and how she wanted a pair to put on right now, regardless of color, so she could jump up and down and throw a huge hissy fit like a 3 year old. Not that it would make a bit of difference. Not that it would ease her anxiety, clear her bronchial tubes or loosen her neck muscles. Might make an entertaining scene though.
She quietly dabbed her tears with the eco-friendly bamboo handkerchief as she tried desparately to breathe and push away the pain. She wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from the loved one that was hurting. She felt it so clearly as if it was her own, yet she knew she couldn’t possibly be the one hurting the most tonight. Just breathe. She had to just breathe.
She wished she could conjure up some magical creature to fight these battles. Vampires were popular lately as they could turn into bats and fly great distances, and depending on who you read, daylight was an optional obstacle. Witches were good. Shapeshifting talking dogs were cool. Zombies weren’t usually a good idea though, kinda conspicuous. She needed something heroic. Something new and exciting. Something better than a fit throwing Mama with a pretty dress and scratched patent leather mary janes. But what?
She supposed he was going to have to figure this out on his own. She was going to have to trust that he’d be ok. That he was such a smart young man and even though the circumstances were lousy, he’d find his way, like millions of other teenagers before him, and survive. (Preferably with a journey a little less like hers.)
She closed her eyes one last time and imagined a beautiful dress of white eyelet and white patent leather shoes…
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