Company Needs Misery

ramblings of a beast

Hot summer’s night in April…

Posted on | April 7, 2010 | Comments Off

The windows were open and as she walked by the foot of her bed, she noticed her down comforter, which had been crushed into the rungs of the antique iron foot-board due to the heat, looked a bit like a modern day wedding gown, all poofy and white. It left her with a little ache in her heart, but things didn’t always go as we planned.  (This sounded familiar) A song, Glory Of Love ,  randomly played on her ipod reminding her of her first kisses. Wow. Another touch to the heart, but in a different way. Young love, how cute. Impractical. Moving on…

She felt as if she was letting go of something, or perhaps gaining something. She wasn’t 100% sure which at the moment but she didn’t care. She liked the feeling. Maybe she was just finally growing up. (Heaven forbid, why would anyone want to?)  What a great song she thought…as I’m Still Breathing began to play. She remembered that feeling well.  Followed by one, I’m Bad, which had her almost roll off the bed. Talk about a blast from the past. One could never say her collection of music wasn’t eclectic. 

She was giving a lot of thought to letting go tonight, healing wounds that cut deep, and starting over. She wondered how many people were out there tonight, listening to music, their hearts empty because they couldn’t open up or they couldn’t let go or they couldn’t accept their significant other as being enough? How many threw something away that was good to them, good enough for them, but they just did whatever they did for whatever their reason?  How many bad decisions were made tonight as she listened to her music, how many mistakes? How many regrets? She wouldn’t kid herself. She’d been there. But tonight, she was letting go…

She thought of her ramblings as emotional vomit that most probably should end up in the trash…but maybe someone will think, someone will smile, someone will remember, someone will be one step closer to letting go too…

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