Blocked
Posted on | May 28, 2010 | Comments Off
She sat frustrated as she had many nights, wanting to write, but having trouble putting the words together. She almost felt as if there was some expectation of her that she wasn’t going to meet, so why bother trying. That wasn’t the case of course. This was her world. No one else mattered. Her insanity and characters could come and go as she pleased, all products of her imagination, her audience was probably that as well.
She remembered how easy it once was, to just close her eyes and go to another place. How one single object in a room could take her to another place and time and somehow she could transfer her thoughts into words…how easy things seemed to be… before. Funny how we always look back and think how things seemed so much better, so much easier, so much *something*… before.
Things were different now. The anticipation of the wedding and wearing the ruffled dress was over. There were different things to look forward to, other things that had been put on hold that now had to be faced. Life was proving to be more of a challenge in this “new normal” state since the injury that took away her dream career. She continuously bounced around the stages of grief and loss and wondered if it would ever end. Today she was angry. She just wanted all the pain to be gone. Emotional and physical.
Sitting in the darkened room lit only by the screen of her laptop, she wondered if she would ever feel truly happy.