Self Destructive Behavior
Posted on | April 25, 2010 | Comments Off
She really had to stop being so self destructive. At least she could identify when she was doing it and she caught herself before it was too late. This particular case was approximately 3:ooam that morning when she woke to realize she’d gone to bed without taking the “scary pill” again. She went ahead and took it and went back to sleep, grateful it wasn’t “too scary” this time. (It did, however, still taste dreadful.)
She wondered what exactly had made her think it was okay NOT to take her pill before falling asleep last night when she knew what happened last time. It would only have left her waking up feeling restless and scattered, her mind a jumbled mess of confetti flying in the breeze. What good could possibly have come of it? It wasn’t as though the “scary pill” was that scary any more now that there was another pill to make it less scary. So that really wasn’t the case. What was her deal?
She thought about being “broken” and feeling like she was the only one, but then realizing “Everybody’s broken”…Bon Jovi said so…and that she knew deep down she wasn’t unique one bit. She was, however, lucky that she could recognize when she’d screwed up. She was pretty sure not everyone did. She thought again about the layers we all have and the ruffles of her dress. She thought about trying to hide within those layers and suspected one could hide within them, but they could never hide from them. . .
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