Relax, it’s just prayer…
Posted on | March 5, 2010 | Comments Off
She returned back to earth a couple days later having read an almost 1100 page novel and feeling worse than ever. One gets emotionally involved in these things and now she was left to sit with her own thoughts and figure out where she’d “go” next in her reading version of time travel. The feeling of emptiness was compounded by the physically sick feeling she was suffering, no doubt from her latest medication change, or from the psychosomatic response to her latest medication change. They were equally real to her regardles of their cause and she kept a bucket by the bed just in case.
She was told to pray. And she wanted to. But that also meant quiet comtemplation and speaking to someone who wasn’t there and that kind of scared her. The quiet contemplation was always accompanied by thoughts racing through her head…thoughts of things that could have been, things that she should be doing, things she didn’t really need to worry about, things she needed to worry about, but would do nothing about even though she was worrying. And then there was the talking. She really wasn’t sure how to approach it, having not been educated in such things as a child. The one thing that stuck with her was that it seemed pretty stupid to be asking for anything right now when so many horrible things were going on in the world. She wondered if this “Higher Power” was sitting there thinking that she had some nerve. Not to mention talking to someone “not there” always made her think of signs of a more serious mental illness.
She heard another siren and it stung.
Her chest began to tighten and her breathing became more shallow. She knew it was time for deep breaths and another book to carry her off. Too much thinking was definitely not what she needed right now. Relax…and pray.
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